Dating Questions That Help Make Your Dates Much Brighter

Thursday, 10 October 2013

Wouldn't it be nice if real life was more like the movies? There's a reason everyone loves romantic comedies and epic novels. These fictitious works are better than life, at least in terms of dialog. They speak eloquently and beyond what most people say in any conversation. While you probably can't write like a TV writer, there is no reason why you can't spruce up your dating conversations and make them a little more interesting. You can ask your date questions that stimulate funny, quirky interactions, just like in a movie or book. Hey, who says life has to be tedious?

Now some experts will suggest that treating your date like a job applicant is a good idea, because it gets your partner to really talk. That does have some logic to it, but when you think about it, don't you think a job interview is kind of a miserable experience? No one really wants to bring that formal, stuffy language into a relaxed date conversation.

Dating Questions That Work

Dating questions are not "free reign" to be rude or shocking. There has to be some rhyme and reason for them, and even if the questions are funny, they have to have value. Naturally, some topics are taboo. You know, the usual like religion and politics. Don't waste time winding your date up when you could just tease, amuse, and flirt. Focus exclusively on conversations about yourself and your view of the world. There will be plenty of time to talk about heavy issues later on.

You can come up with some fun questions on your own but if you need a bit of extra help, to keep your date interesting you may want to try some of the questions below. You will notice they are open ended and conversation starters.

1. What person has had the greatest influence in your life?

2. When was the last time you had a good belly laugh?

3. What's on your bucket list?

4. Who is your favorite person in the world?

5. Who is your favorite comic book character?

6. What three things do you expect to do this year?

7. What are you pet hates?

8. What's your favorite restaurant?

9. What character in English literature do you resemble most?

10. What do you love about your job?

11. When was the last time you've been really surprised?

12. What has been your favorite memory in life, both as a child and as an adult?

13. Who is your favorite world leader or peace activist of all time?

14. Who is your favorite band?

15. What was the last terrible movie you watched?

16. What is your worst date experience ever?

17. Do you have a favorite place to be alone to think about things?

18. What would be your dream career or life?

19. Have you ever been pranked or pranked someone else?

20. What was the last weird dream you had?

21. Who was your favorite teacher?

22. What is your personal philosophy in life?

23. What character on "The Simpsons" are you?

24. Any X-Files stories to share? Have you ever seen anything weird or scary?

25. What would a book based on your life be called?

Dating questions are like a game. You can expand the conversation or move on if the question does not work. This is a small intellectual challenge and can be fun. Some singles really enjoy confessing their funny stories. That can be fun, but conversely they can also make the other person feel very uneasy. Sometimes personal questions can be a gamble, for example, if your partner has suffered a trauma, so it's best to stay away from real-life scares and drama.

Use discretion and don't push your luck if things are getting awkward. Keep things friendly and natural sounding. Don't rehearse too much. Having said that know there are always boundaries you have to stay clear of and you can usually tell how your date feels about an off-limits conversation.

6 Tips for Finding Your Own Christian (or Christian!) Grey

Thursday, 3 October 2013

50 Shades has done a lot over the past months and years to change current perceptions about sexual freedom for woman. Alternatively, it released a whole bunch of latent, pent up emotion and longing that lay dormant in women, waiting for a catalyst to spark the flame...

Well the flame's been sparked in a very big way, for a lot of women around the world.

If you're active in kink communities, one of the ways you'll notice this is through the incredible influx of newbies onto the scene... and the outpouring of community based posts around the delusions of grandeur possessed by most people who've read 50 Shades and consequently entered the scene.

So, aside from the hundred thousand conflicting messages, concepts and ideas you'll find in a community, you may also find that you're not exactly getting the warm welcome you expected.

So what should you keep in mind if you want to enter the community and find your dream mate?

1. There is right or "Twue" way

On entering the community you'll see many posts, perhaps with a holier than thou attitude, deriding mistakes newbies make. If you're part of any online community you'll see this, and as long we have the Interwebs - or even two people just able talk to each other - we're going to have someone thinking they're better than somebody else.


Your Kink Is Not My Kink... powerful words.

A powerful philosophy for life actually... even when we like the same thing, we're going to appreciate different aspects of it more than others and appreciate it in different ways. It's what makes us human and unique. Likewise, unpacking kink and what works for you sexually is a very personal journey, perhaps the most personal of all the journeys.

If you get too wrapped up in what other people say and think you're going to land up doing something that doesn't necessarily work for you, leaves you tense, when you need to relax in order to benefit from this experience.

Some people see it as a lifestyle, others see it as a purely sexual thing, some see it as an easy way to get laid and have one night stands... it doesn't matter really what your reasons are, because of Rule 34. There's someone out there who matches your kink; there's a market for everything.

One caveat - on the one-night standers... unfortunately the number of these people increases with the numbers of newbies, because they've read 50 Shades too. You'd be wise to have your guard up as a newbie on the scene.

2. Men can be submissive too

Men can be submissive, women can be dominant and some people are both - switches, meaning they change according to their needs. Likewise, BDSM happens for all orientations and even all ages and colours and shapes and sizes. There are whole segments of the community dedicated to big women for example and foot fetishes.

3. Not all communities are created equal

Some are more social, some more content and information based and others are just plain meat markets filled with wannabes, scammers and fakers.

Take all the necessary precautions... protect your identity, don't give you name out, don't give money to anyone, take your time to get to know the person and meet them in a public place. Have an escape route, don't play the first time... The list goes on and on and on.

Take your time to get to know some of the people in the community, local and web-based if possible, and gather information and resources. When you're playing a game as dangerous as this, you cannot take too many precautions.

4. Not all Dominants are created equal

And in the wake of the 50 Shades phenomenon, you find a lot of chancers, fakers and youngsters hoping for an easy lay. There are luckily a few easy ways to identify most of the absolute fakes:

Profile pictures of his penis
Only female friends
No profile write up
Propositions sex too early on in the conversation
Insists you call him by a title such as Sir in the first few minutes

Unfortunately, there are also some of the scammers that have grown older, wiser & shrewder over time, and these are unfortunately not always so easy to spot.

Take your time, get to know the people around you and keep your wits about you. It's easy to get carried away and land up in a situation where you get beaten, abused, raped or worse.

5. Some people are just kinksters

Not all the labels apply to you in BDSM and it's okay to just be a fetishist, a kinkster or even just explore.

Take your time figuring out what works for you, read other people's profile write ups, view their pictures, videos and see what appeals to you. And take your time please, this isn't a race with an end goal, it's an exploration. The joy and pleasure of this also lies in the journey.

6. Some people are completely unsure

There could be a variety of reasons for being unsure, ranging from a conflict in sexual orientation or gender to low self-esteem, and something as harmless as finding the content stimulating and having that be enough.

Whatever your reason, you're allowed to take your time to figure out who you are and what you want. You don't have to make a decision today.


S&H (Sex&Honey) is an English-language digital sex and relationship coaching platform that aims to debunk the myths around sex.

The service gives women affordable access to real sex and relationship coaching information, practical advice and coaching tools and resources around sex and relationships.

Honey Morgan, a sex coach and one of the creators of S&H says: "S&H provides a safe place for women to source information, ask any questions related to sex and get real advice to apply in their relationships. Our aim is to empower women with relevant knowledge about sex and relationships, enabling them to make the right decisions and have fulfilling relationships."