Casual Sex - Can It Ever Work?

Thursday, 6 February 2014

The "friends with benefits" scenario seems like it can be the ideal situation for a woman who has a busy life or isn't really interested in getting romantically entangled at this point in her life. You get to have all of the fun, with none of the commitment! What could go wrong?

I'll tell you what could go wrong -- just about everything. It's easy to look at a casual sex relationship from the outside and see it for all the benefits. After all, that's why they call it "friends with benefits." The thing is, these relationships are never really as cut and dry as they seem. Even if you agree to keep your interaction completely platonic (outside of the sex, of course), there are no doubt going to be feelings arising at some point. It's virtually impossible for a woman to completely separate sex and emotion, no matter how hard she tries.

This isn't to say that these relationships can never work, but if you are looking for something hassle-free, it's best to keep them in the short term or on a very occasional basis. Hooking up with the same person casually once every few months between relationships or dates isn't the end of the world, but if you end up sleeping together on a nightly basis, things could get tricky. It's difficult to not develop feelings for someone who you spend that much time with, especially when it involves such a high level of intimacy -- even if it's only physical on the surface.

Keep in mind also, that trying to get out of a casual sex relationship can be an absolute nightmare, especially if the two of you were friends to begin with. Someone is bound to get their feelings hurt. Imagine if you were in a "friends with benefits" situation with someone you've been platonic buddies with for a very long time, and all of a sudden he starts dating someone new and stops being interested in having sex with you. How would you react? Even if you're not interested in a relationship with him, that can be a hefty blow to your ego.

Similarly, imagine that you find someone new that you want to start dating. Would you be comfortable risking your friend's feelings by ending the relationship? Are you capable of looking him in the eye and being forthright about ending things for the sake of someone new?


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