The Questions to Ask and What to Say on a First Date

Thursday, 12 December 2013

Dating is daunting. Will he like me? Will I like him? Making a good impression is at the forefront of our mind, but how much should we reveal about ourselves and our inner soul. We secretly hope he will be the one and dread the thought that maybe he is not.

All these thoughts rummage around in our gorgeous heads on the lead up to the first date. Luckily we don't perspire profusely, but we have been known to take to nail biting, scratching the nervous patch on our skin or developing a dry mouth in anticipation of what is to come. Fear not, we are here to guide you through your first date as though you are a confident pro.

Contrary to popular belief, starting the first date with questions such as "what are your long-term goals" or "where do you see yourself in the future" make it sound more like a job interview than a relaxed first date. What you need to do is to put yourself and him at ease by discussing softer subjects and then later on ease into the tougher questions. Nobody likes an interrogation, so make it a flowing conversation. After all that is what we women are good at!

Here are some tips to ease you through the date:

• Complimenting him will put him at ease - 'thanks so much for choosing this place for our date it's really great'. This is a light conversation starter and you could ask "what places do you usually like to go to?"

• Ask him for advice - if you are eating you could ask him if he can recommend anything on the menu. This also opens up the conversation around what types of food he enjoys.

• Talk about your day and hopefully he will reciprocate - This is a nice lead in to find out more about his job rather than the inane "so what do you do?" question that we all ask and he secretly finds irritating.

• Don't moan - We are all tempted to rush in and complain bitterly about something and this can be a real turnoff on the first date, not to mention that it could create a bad impression.

• Be yourself - it's better to find out that you both have nothing in common on the first date than on the fifth.

• Offer up a little about yourself - he may be just as nervous as you are, so telling him a little about you could start the conversation going. Don't give him the full version only enough to be enticing.

Some questions to get the conversation going:

• What do you do for fun?
• Do you enjoy what you do?
• Are you reading anything interesting at the moment?
• Do you enjoy sport? Who's your favourite team?
• What do you think about... find something interesting you heard on the news.
• What's the most interesting place you've ever travelled to?
• What's your favourite food? Or do you like to cook?
• What's the best movie you have ever seen?
• Who's your favourite musician?
• If you are brave you could ask him about his family? What they do and what they are like.
• Do you like comedy? Ask him what type of comedy he likes.

Remember not to fire questions at him one after another, rather respond with what you like in relation to the question you are asking. You want to make this about a conversation not an inquisition.

S&H (Sex&Honey) is an English-language digital sex and relationship coaching platform that aims to debunk the myths around sex.

The service gives women affordable access to real sex and relationship coaching information, practical advice and coaching tools and resources around sex and relationships.

Honey Morgan, a sex coach and one of the creators of S&H says: "S&H provides a safe place for women to source information, ask any questions related to sex and get real advice to apply in their relationships. Our aim is to empower women with relevant knowledge about sex and relationships, enabling them to make the right decisions and have fulfilling relationships."


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